Hello and welcome to my blog

I’ll throw this straight out there, I have never blogged in my life and had no intention of blogging up until 2 hours ago. I’m in bed and had a lightbulb moment and thought this would be a fantastic idea and here I am.

I suppose a logical step would be to explain why on earth I, a 23 year old woman is currently lying in bed at 2pm with no job, money or definitive life goals on this fine day. If only it was because I was the socialite of my dreams… soon be swooned with offers unimaginable to the common man. Sadly this is not the case. I have no plans on this Monday afternoon and my phone hasn’t rang once today. I suppose it is at this time you may be wondering why I’m choosing to do nothing to change these factors in my life and have instead created a free blog which I googled how to make an hour prior.

Well the reason being is that I’m currently being bullied. Now I’ve researched how to make bullies go away and it’s been suggested I should avoid the bully or if that’s not possible then purely ignore them. Both of these resolutions will not stand up against my bully because my bully is… myself. I’m my own worst enemy. How can you avoid or ignore the person who is making your life a misery if it’s the person staring back at you in the mirror?

I’m suffering from anxiety. My mental health has been an issue for quite some time, longer than I probably realised. It’s slowly taken over my life. Having tortured me since I was a teenager, I feel so knocked down that at this moment in time it’s a struggle to see myself getting back up. So I guess I’m starting this blog as a lifeline as I’m in incredibly dangerous waters right now. I wanted to find a place where I could vent my anger and frustration at myself and the people around me as a lot of the time I’m angry for reasons even I, let alone my friends don’t understand.

I told myself the same thing many people tell themselves on New Year’s Eve and that next year is going to be different. So this blog will also be my way of documenting my progress on tackling the demons inside my head. I know in order to be happy I need to pull at the issues that are so deeply rooted and I know it will take time. I just want there to be a day that goes by where my heart doesn’t feel like someone has their hand clutched tightly around it.

I’m starting this blog for me to make sure I follow through with my plan. If I dedicate myself to this I will have to move forward… and maybe this will reach people who are facing similar demons who feel lost. If that’s you, I hope we both find some closure one day.

xx